


Wait. You’re aroused?

by meremennen



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU within an AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Humor, I blame that tumblr convo, I know WHY this happened but idk HOW, Sexual Content, There is sex in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2018-10-06 08:08:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10330046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meremennen/pseuds/meremennen
Summary: They are watching this hit series on The CW, and the main protagonists, after four seasons of pent-up sexual tension of hell, are finally (she is pretty sure it’s happening tonight) getting it on. She can feel it.





	1. This is how it starts

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt: **46\. “Wait. You're aroused?”** from [this post](http://the-fat-mermaid.tumblr.com/post/157973346846/100-dialogue-prompts-part-3)
> 
> Look, I don't know how this happened. The story wrote itself. Also, don't judge me because this is the first time I am writing something remotely sexy? and it's not even that much yet still makes me nervous to post.  
> Anyway, this snippet is rated a very, very light M and comments are welcome.

She doesn't mean it to happen. She really doesn't mean it to happen. But they are sitting pressed together on the couch (sandwiched between Jasper and Monty, the rest of their friends are being scattered on the floor and on the two loveseats) and he smells ... _God_ . He smells -- _So. Good._ Yeah, it is his aftershave and something that is just undeniably _him_.

"Stop fidgeting, _princess_ ," he mumbles. "I can't follow the plot if you keep knocking your knees against mine."

She squirms, trying to press her thighs tighter together. Not that it helps.

Her favourites on the screen are having a heart to heart with copious amounts of ~~fuck me~~ heart eyes, but that's nothing new. However, she can feel it deep in her bones that this - _this_ might be finally it: the tipping point. And _that_ combined with the body heat and amazing smell of Bellamy Blake (who is so not her boyfriend but, god, she wishes so badly that he was) gets her hot and bothered. Never mind that her friends are all over the place, unsuspecting of her troubles.

Her breaths come in quick and short pants as she tries to calm herself. But all that effort is ruined when Bellamy's hot breath lands on her skin.

"Wait. You're aroused?" he whispers into her ears.

_Ohhh no._ She's so embarrassed, it can't be happening.

Her very intelligent answer is, " _Hummm_ ,” because he can't exactly expect her to say _yes_ or _maybe a little_ or _you're imagining things_ in front of everyone (whose eyes are luckily still glued to the flatscreen.)

She is not admitting anything, no, he can do with a _hummm_ whatever the hell he wants.

They are watching this hit series on The CW, and the main protagonists, after four seasons of pent-up sexual tension of hell, are finally (she is pretty sure it’s happening tonight) getting it on. She can feel it.

So excuse her if she is a little bit aroused by the prospect of those two idiots finally kissing and touching and --

Another puff of hot air tingles her skin. Bellamy is leaning closer into her and breathing, "You want some help with that?"

Quite frankly, it's a small miracle that she's not already sitting in his lap. The couch was designed for three, and although Monty and Jasper are rather lanky than big, they do take a lot of space with their limbs when they are excited.

On top of everything, Bellamy’s voice sounds a little off; full of sin and fire and … definitely nothing she's heard before.

It so doesn't help her with the situation at hand.

She knows she shouldn't look at him. Nope. She shouldn't. But his voice sounds just about as wrecked as she feels right now, so she turns her head an inch to check. She can risk a peek. Just a peek.

Huge mistake.

_Fuck. My. Life._ He's never looked so hot she swears.

He looks at her like he could eat her alive.

Her mouth goes dry at the sight. "Are you serious?" is all she somehow manages to wheeze out.

He licks his lips and brushes his sneaky fingers against her thigh. Just a barely there touch, and yet, she almost cries.

"FUCKING FINALLY!" Raven yells out at that moment and for a terrifying second there she thinks they have been caught.

She looks around and back at the screen and ... Oh boy, the OTP is finally, _finally_ , _FINALLY_ really getting it on.

This is so hot and beautiful and amazing - and it was worth all that shitstorm that they were subjected to by the ugly part of the fandom - that she actually ends up crying.

She only notices later that her left hand is grasping like an eagle on Bellamy's thigh when he winces in pain.

Their eyes meet for an excruciatingly long second. She gasps at the sight.

Yep. He will eat her alive. If she lets him.

* * *

 

They slip out to her room when the closing credits start rolling down, with an excuse to phone that fancy restaurant Roan was bragging about, and to look for a good bar for drinks after. The occasion deserves more than cheap beer or wine to celebrate. So cocktails it is.

He gets her off with his fingers twice. She returns the favour on her knees.

And if Raven smugly smirks at her when she reaches for her coat, well, she'll deal with it later.


	2. Finale Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because the finale broke me and this is how I deal. There is SOME MORE SEXUAL CONTENT ahead.

A glance. It took them only a glance this time to find themselves in their current state of undress: pants pooling at their feet, her body trapped between the door and his broad chest, his hands pinning hers to the doorframe, his flesh pounding into hers from behind.

She’s pretty close to come on the spot even before Bellamy’s hand makes its way down between her thighs. Quite honestly, she has almost lost it the moment Bellamy’s hot breath started hitting her skin, just under her ear as he whispered, “You like that, huh?”

She shivers, a pearl of sweat slowly making its way down her neck, and he intensifies his trusts.

 

* * *

 

_2 hours 1 minute and 99 seconds earlier_

“I can’t believe what just happened,” Raven says, finally breaking the silence, pushing herself up from the loveseat.“B-but….

“B-but…. _whyyyyy_ ,” Jasper moans, desperately turning his head around the room, looking for an answer clearly no one has.His eyes find Clarke’s in the end, and

His eyes find Clarke’s in the end, and god, she’s pretty close to crying herself after a finale like that. It was heartbreaking but also freaking hot at some point. She’s in no better condition than Jasper but she tries to school her features for his sake. For everyone’s sake. It’s not easy to calm Jasper down when he cries. So she swallows.“They are fucking in love. And the showrunner is an asshole, that’s why.”

“They are fucking in love. And the showrunner is an asshole, that’s why.”And that starts a round of argument starting from the opening scene.

And that starts a round of argument starting from the opening scene.

She drifts in and out of the conversation. She is not ready to talk about this, instead, she plops herself down on the furthest end of the couch.

She exhales. No, she is not okay. But her puzzled mind brings up images about that particular scene which broke her heart first tonight; which reminds her of _that other scene_ from a few weeks ago. Which eventually led her and Bellamy get off one another in her room.

She has goosebumps rising at the memory. And that’s when she spots Bellamy watching her, with something akin to hunger in his eyes. It’s quite possible that he thinks about their encounter, too.

She gulps again.

* * *

 

“Guys, come on,” says Raven, ushering their friends towards the door. “If Bellamy wants to stay and help her clean up the place, he can. He’s a pro. But I need a stronger drink and I need it RIGHT NOW.”

Clarke doesn’t think she imagines the way Raven wriggles her eyebrows at her when she turns to look at her, quite pointedly, right before clapping her hands together and asking their friends again to hurry the fuck up.

“She totally knows,” Clarke says when the door is closed behind them.

But she doesn’t have time to say anything else, because Bellamy is right behind her, already nipping at her earlobes. “Who cares.”

 

* * *

 

_Present time_

His fingers are truly magic.

Warm and thick and just like she remembers, doing wonders to her body once again. Not that she needed the added sensation, his dick inside her already feels like heaven.

But here they are, pushed against the door, his fingers teasing her clit, his mouth right at her ear, whispering nonsenses to her. She pushes herself back to him to spur him on.

She comes first, after a particularly deep trust, then he grunts and releases, dropping his forehead on her shoulder.

“Oh – My – God,” she pants as she comes to, her breathing almost calmed down albeit a little shaky.

He plants a kiss at the nape of her neck, just a quick peck. It’s a surprisingly sweet gesture, she thinks.

“Yeah?” He sounds shy at first, but the uncertainty in his voice is soon replaced by something happy.

She simply repeats his words back to him. “Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

They clean up the apartment in no time, moving around each other effortlessly - as if this is something they have practised many times over. They are a good team, true, in more than one ways, as it turned out.

She is still a little flush as they round the corner to the pub Raven has texted her.

“That was quick,” Raven grins when they show up.

The rest of their group is in a deep argument about Miller’s new beard, not paying attention to them.

“Don’t be an asshole, Reyes,” Bellamy says, nonchalant, casually placing a hand at the small of her back as he reaches for a chair with his other hand, offering the seat for Clarke to sit. “I know what I am about.”

Clarke is frozen to the spot, until Bellamy touches her forearm, shaking her out of her stupor.

“That you do,” Raven grins wider. “I bet Clarke’s learned a few new tricks.”

She refuses to flush, even when her heartbeat quickens at the implication of _what they just did_ 20 minutes ago.

She’s not gonna admit. Not now.

She glances at Bellamy who has taken the seat next to her. He seems to be unaffected by the teasing, but the smile she sees playing on his face is definitely something she would call smug and cheeky.

The idiot.

“Maybe,” she dares, “Bellamy is the one who’s learned a new trick.”

“Cheers to that,” Raven raises her cup, nodding at the shot glasses on the table.

Bellamy leans in closer as he reaches for the drinks, handing one over to Clarke.

“Hmmm,” he mumbles,“ that I did.”

She snorts. He looks happy.

And if she thinks that maybe, next time when they do that, she’d like more than anything to make _him_ come first, no one can blame her. Not that she expects him to complain.

 

* * *

 

She makes good on that promise a week later.

  
xxx


	3. Hiatus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The show is on hiatus.

"Bellamy is looking fine tonight," Raven sings, taking a long sip of her beer, then, for emphasis, nudging Clarke's shoulder with her nose. She is not too subtle about the teasing. (It's been weeks. Not anymore.)

It's Wednesday night. The show is on hiatus so they moved their gatherings from Clarke and Raven's apartment to _Eden_ , their favourite neighbourhood bar. In some way, it is an improvement. They cannot be as loud as usual, but they are still spending Wednesday nights together. Instead of drinking the same bottled beer and munching on popcorn and Jasper ugly crying on _their_ couch (and Miller teasing him for it), they are at the _Eden_ already at 8 p.m. No ugly crying is involved, unless Jasper drinks too much and gets too emotional about his age or the time passing too fast. (Miller teases him for that too. But Miller teases everyone.)

Clarke takes a look at the man in question and shrugs. "He's _okay_."

But then, because she is a little tipsy she adds, "The glasses are really _not_ doing it for me."

It's a lie.

Raven snorts.

"Whatever you say, babe."

Truth is though, now that Raven has brought up the glasses, she cannot look away. She _is_ fixated on those glasses as if he's grown a second head. But worse than that, she cannot stop the flood of memories that invade her mind.

 

 

_It was an early summer day when she stopped by his office at the museum wearing her favourite braless, strappy summer dress. That day is forever etched in her mind for many reasons, actually._

_For one, that must have been the hottest day in human history._

_Two, as unsuspecting as she had been, she stormed into his office, mindlessly babbling about the heatwave being the sign of an impending apocalypse, only to be overwhelmed by a different kind of heat._

_(Three, soon she learned first hand, the chill air in his office and the feel of the cool desk against her thighs, combined with the hot breath of his mouth on her skin was a true godsend.)_

_So when she found Bellamy Blake in glasses for the first time ever, all it took her to forget about the toasting weather outside was a dark look on his face and Bellamy rasping, "I want you.... Now."_

_Her nipples hardened on the spot. She nodded and stepped in closer, locking the door behind her. Hardly ten minutes later, she was clutching onto the edge of his table in the middle of_ his _office, panting his name, with him licking rapturously between her legs._

_And later, in their haste for scrambling for a condom, Bellamy's[mug](http://meremennen.tumblr.com/post/162896147333/best-lovequotes-so-many-books-so-little-time) tumbled to the floor spilling its content – mostly pencils and paper clips and an actual bottle of ink on the floor._

_Thanks to the thick carpet of his office the ink bottle remained intact. The ink spilled, though, leaving a mark behind. Last time she heard, that weird gorilla shaped patch was still gracing said carpet._

_They did have an actual lunch after, his mussed up hair and his stupid cocky smile a very real reminder of their activities.  
_

 

 

Clarke jolts out of her reverie, feeling herself flush.

She finds Bellamy staring at her. A moment ago he seemed to be lost in a heated conversation with Monty and Murphy but somewhere between now and then his eyes found hers and it feels like a magnet pulling on her sides. It is impossible to look away.

He adjusts his glasses as he adds something to their conversation.

 _No. No no no no no._ That look he's giving her is too much.

She thought she was squirming – Squirming? Suffering! – in silence but when Raven leans into her side and mutters, "Jesus Christ, woman, I didn't know you had it _this_ bad," she knows she is utterly busted. This is bad. Really bad.

She shifts in her seat and shakes her head.

"Go, and talk to him," Raven whispers under her nose. “For my sake.”

"I –– I think I just need some air," Clarke gets up to her feet all of a sudden. Raven shoots her a questioning glance, but she heads towards the back door, taking a few calming breaths.

What she hasn't noticed, though, is that Bellamy has excused himself to the bathroom right before her, and she is heading in the same direction.

She stops in her tracks when she finds him leaning against a wall. She actually stares, lips parting a little in surprise.

"See something you want, _Clarke_?"

The way he calls out her name is infuriatingly sexy. There's a subtle teasing edge to it which has had the opposite effect on her a while back; namely in the early stages of their acquaintance, when they were both stubborn assholes to admit they could be actually good friends.

 _Two can play this game, though_ , she thinks.

She takes a predatory step, or at least she hopes it comes across seductive, curling a hand around his bicep.

" _Yeahhhh_." Her voice is deeper and raspier than usual, giving a sultry feel to it. _Goooood_. "In fact, I am,” tilting her face upwards, keeping their eye contact.

He's moved closer, she notices, bringing them nose to nose, their breath actually mingling.

"I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

He huffs out a laugh and takes her hand. "Come on, “ and leads her away to that secluded little corridor only the staff uses when they stock up.

Next thing she knows, she's already shimmied out of her panties, her back hitting the wall, when Bellamy quickly snatches them out of her reach. "You'll get them back later," he breathes onto her neck and gets down to business at once.

It's a small miracle if they don't get caught. Honestly.

But she figures they are too worked up at this point to care or to stop this. Her panties are gone and she’s gasping his name as her fingers dig into his backside. His thrusts are equally urgent, the pull of her fingers and countered with a delicious push, he wants this. He _needs_ this as badly as she does.

 

***

 

They don't get caught.

She's catching a glimpse of him as he's tucking his dick back into his pants and she has to turn away to take a steadying breath. He’s still hard, but he promised he was having a good time and not to worry about it.

She's just finished smoothing the wrinkles out of her dress and in the middle of combing her fingers through her hair, half a mind on those missing panties, when, unexpectedly, Bellamy's hot breath hits her skin for a second time that day. "On a second thought, I want to take you against the wall."

" _Again?!_ "

"You feel so good."

And yes, he feels so good too. So so so good. She wants to tell him that, among other, sweeter things, but then he kisses her neck and her mind gets all scrambled, and she's close to combust on the spot anyway if he won't do anything about it.

She has just about enough mind left to ask, "How many condoms do you have exactly?"

"Enough," Bellamy growls, his voice sounds absolutely wrecked, and he proceeds to cage her in until his elbow finds support on the wall.

The next thing she remembers, he is already inside her. His right hand steadying her hip as his thumb is rubbing circles against her skin, soothing, and he’s hitting a particularly good spot inside her.

When he finishes this time, he presses his lips against her hair, lingering, just long enough to slip her underwear into her hands.

 

***

 

By the time they stumble back to their friends, with a pitcher of beer each in their hands, Jasper's head is down on the table, Miller patting his back.

" _'S okay_ , bud, I know. I know. We'll get through this."

Murphy takes a contemplative look at them, before he takes the pitcher from her hand, refilling their cups, smiling to himself. Sure, he looks smug, but he doesn't comment and she pretends she didn't notice.

Raven raises an eyebrow. Clarke shrugs.

"Hey, _Blake_ , your glasses are crooked."

Bellamy touches the frame. "They. Are. Not."

"My bad. Looked crooked from here."

 

***

 

The night is winding down eventually, it's almost midnight. They ended up sitting next to each other towards the third round of drinks.

Raven stands. "Hey, I'm gonna hit the night with this one here,” sticking out a thumb towards Murphy. "Bellamy, I'd appreciate if you made sure my girl makes it home safe and sound. The streets are dark."

Raven shoots her a text ten minutes later,  _don’t wait me up bb, im not making it home tonight_. _xoxo_

That's the first night Bellamy kisses her when they almost part. And when he kisses her, he cannot stop at one kiss only, it is followed by another until they completely lose track of time. 

That's the first time he stays the night.

xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you like? Any feedback would be nice! 
> 
> & I have this [Detective!Bellamy story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8348800/chapters/19125961) I just reposted/edited and would appreciate if you could check it out. I am tempted to write another chapter if anyone is interested?


	4. Trailer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new season trailer drops.

The weeks leading up to the show's return are spent juggling between making out and work and sex, soaking each other's warmth and sweat in after spending hours undressed in bed.

They've been “seeing” each other for ten months when the trailer for the new season finally drops.

Raven and Murphy are being less and less subtle about their teases; and yes, _maybe_ she'd like to elevate their current relationship to the next level: Holding his hands in public or giving him silly kisses whenever she wants.

It's just ... she doesn't know how to bring it up.

And it's not like Bellamy is giving her any signs without a doubt that he wants more than what they already have. He seems to be pretty content with their current arrangement. And why wouldn't he? He gets to use her body whenever and in whichever way he wants, and she gets to touch him and kiss him in very intimate places in return.

They get to have mind-blowing sex in very creative positions as well – something, honest to God, she has never thought she ever wanted; and to be completely honest, sharing all this _with Bellamy_ is way more intimate than what she has bargained for when they’d agreed to keep doing each other. She’s been so caught up in this happy bubble with him, that it hasn’t been too long ago that she realized her feelings are a teensy bit more than fleeting lust.

And that is exactly why she doesn't protest when he spends the night (or she stays over at his) and she gets to wake up practically six days out of seven in the cocoon of Bellamy's arms most mornings. Some days, with a leg over his hips, a hand stroking his cock and her head leisurely on his chest; on others, with his fingers (or his tongue, _oh, God, his talented tongue_ ) between her legs. One way or another, she is cuddling into his warmth most days, and after months of having _this_ , _him_ , she sleeps well. Alone, she is restless. With him, curled around her, the feel of his palm on her back, everything feels peaceful and easy. (There's nothing like a good orgasm to sleep like a baby and start an otherwise stressful day – well, less stressful and genuinely happy.)

 

***

 

But then, she sees the tweets:

 

**Soon**

 

**Soon soon**

 

 _What the hell does that mean???_ She huffs in annoyment. 

They've waited for that freaking trailer what feels like an eternity, and the creators are just gonna tease them _LIKE THAT?_

"Why so serious, _Princess_?" 

She answers with an annoyed huff and holds out her phone for him to see. "Look at that! They are mocking us!"

He steps closer, with a hint of a smile on his lips. Bellamy brushes a thumb against her hairline before he angles the screen for a better glimpse.

He snorts, ruffles her hair and presses a wet kiss on her forehead.

 

***

 

And then the trailer actually drops. And it is a big disappointment, considering all the wait and endless teasing.

"I have a bad feeling about this," says Miller.

"They are trying to do too much," Raven agrees.

"Can you imagine," Jasper whines," no scene with the mains after _six_ fucking years of separation?" He dramatically hops down on the couch with a puff and crosses his arms. "This is _bullship_."

Murphy snorts, "Huh, we've known the showrunner is a massive dick. Is anyone really surprised," stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth, chewing on it rather loud.

"Give him the benefit of the doubt," Monty chimes in, always the optimist. Though he presses his lips together, the edges crooked upwards in a way that suggests he is not so convinced himself.

Bellamy grunts, and whispers, "If I were Bradbury, I'd fuck her. I mean, we _know_ how to read subtext. They'd had a lust fuelled moment already _before_ all shit went down." He toys with the frilly hem of Clarke's skirt and winks at her. "She stayed behind and kept _him_ alive. And unbeknownst to him, he kept _her_ alive. If it doesn't end with them jumping each other like crazed bunnies when they reunite, what was even the point."  He fucking winks at her as his pinky glides under her skirt, drawing a slow pattern against her skin just above her knee. She shivers.

 _Indeed_.

(They do get it on that night like crazed bunnies, his fingers are twisting in her hair and he’s pulling on it with one hand, massaging her breast with the other, and she moves back into him, their bodies slapping together in a comfortable rhythm, until both of them cry out in ecstasy and are thoroughly spent.)

 

***

 

 _Two weeks later_ , a convention with the cast is scheduled before the show goes to air.

The gang is gathered around Clarke and Raven's couch, watching the feeds online.

"Come on. Look at that!" Jasper exclaims."

Murphy appears in the doorway, with a bowl of freshly made popcorn in his hands. "Yeah, there is no way they aren't fucking."

Suffice to say, the leads have amazing chemistry and _maybe_ , they all think they are cute together.

Jasper gasps, clutching the remote tighter to his chest. "They are making love," he huffs at Murphy, horrified.

Murphy smirks, until Jasper shakes his head, blowing out a calming breath. "So much eye contact –"

"So much," Miller mumbles, nodding his head along.

"– and have you seen those hugs they were giving to each other?! Can two people be any more physically intimate, you guys?"

Raven snorts. "Sure they can," she winks. "When they are naked." And she nudges her elbow against Clarke's in a playful manner.

"– and SO MUCH touching!"

Clarke's eyes widen at the insinuation, turning her head, finding Bellamy's gaze on autopilot. He shrugs but she can see a small smirk forming on his lips and her thoughts involuntarily go back to the way he was very thoroughly mapping her skin with his lips and tongue hardly an hour ago, when he was supposed to help her and set the small coffee table with the snacks.

"They are secretly dating, I am telling you!" Jasper seems totally oblivious to the exchange, his previous enthusiasm is in full swing.

Clarke's eyes are wide, her neck heats up and she blows out a calming breath in slow motion before she attracts any more attention. Bellamy seems unaffected. And sure, they haven't discussed any of _this_ – this deep intimacy blooming between them, but a part of her thought that maybe, _maybe_ he feels the same. And as she watches his jaw twitch, his lips curling into a wide smile at some silly comment Miller has said, an unexplained sadness is starting to build deep inside her and she has to exit the room to calm herself before she loses it in front of everyone.

There are tears in her eyes by the time she reaches the bathroom, she doesn't know where to put this sudden burst of emotion.

Except, she thinks she has fallen in love with Bellamy and he is seemingly – obviously – likes her, but _does_ _he_ love her back and love her enough to march across that room full of people and swipe her off her feet. Or, you know, claim his place next to her and let the world know they are _together_ , she belongs to him and he belongs to _her_. To show that he cares a lot about her and not just as friends.

There is a soft knock on the door, so she wipes the tears away and splashes some cold water on her cheeks to remove the evidence of her breakdown.

Part of her hopes it's Bellamy looking for her, and he doesn't need to see this.

She opens the door with a small smile.

It's Raven. 

Her smile drops and she starts crying again.  
  
Raven is truly the best friend she could have ever asked for. " _Hey, hey, hey_. What’s going on?" she takes a step closer, enveloping her in a tight hug and ushers them back into the safety of the bathroom, as she turns the lock behind her.  
  
They are standing like that, rocking back and forth for a minute, maybe two, or maybe ten – she honestly doesn't know, the time has lost meaning.

When her sobbing eventually ebbs, Raven brushes a soothing hand down her hair. "You love him."

It's not a question.

Raven pulls away to assess her face. "You're _in love_ with him. You don't have to answer, but... Clarke, it's so obvious."

She sniffs, "To everyone?"

 _Even to Bellamy?_ She wants to ask, but she doesn't. Maybe she’s being a coward, but today, she doesn’t have the strength to do so.

Raven watches her for a moment, considering. "To anyone who pays attention, _yes_. I'm not sure everyone knows you two are  – " she makes a crude gesture with both hands that is basically the universally acknowledged sign for fucking. "Jasper's already called dibs on a speech at the wedding.”

Clarke sighs heavily. She's not really bothered by it, she's known their friends were bold and shameless. Heck, she is bold and shameless these days.

"But, Clarke, we've been all rooting for you for ages, and still decided to let you guys figure this out on your own."

"Bellamy doesn't..." she shakes her head, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, "he loves me _as a friend_ , I'm sure, but more like an adopted sister of sorts, or something –"

Raven doesn't snort as she expected, she merely hums, considering. "Did you talk to him?"

She shakes her head. "Not yet, but – " Raven stops her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Babe, don't overthink this. You two have to talk is all."

She nods. "I will."

And she means it. But when the night ends and they go out for drinks, he pulls her in for a deep kiss when they stay behind find, kissing her senseless, and he fills her head with the promise of what he's going to do to her later.

She swallows and she all but forgets her earlier determination to talk.

 

***

  
  
"Are you close?", his breath is a hot rasp in her ears, as he slips a hand between her legs.

"So... _so_ close."

His thrusts are deep and slow, his fingers are lazy but insistent on her clit and they fall apart in unison, his moan tickling her skin.

It's so unrealistic for those feelings to hit her like a bucket of cold water right now when she was so carefree and sated a moment ago.

" _Bellamy_ , I think . . . _I think_ we should . . . "

She lets it linger.

And she wants to say ' _we should talk about this because I am madly in love with you and not knowing your feelings kills me_ '. 

It's all on the tip of her tongue.

He pushes on his elbows to take her in and tucks an errant hair behind her ear. Slowly, he blows out a breath, but his face is unchanging, less the small bob of his Adam’s apple and a tiny twitch in his jaw. 

And she almost says the words. _Almost_. But as she takes him in, those insecurities from a few weeks ago resurface in full force, and instead, she says they should stop having sex for a while because he is her friend, and " _god dammit, Blake, you are my best friend next to Raven and I … I don't wanna lose you_ ".

And she thinks it's close enough to pour her soul out there. Not a direct love confession, not exactly the romantic kind, but it's a start.

And she expects some teasing comeback from him, like how his stamina has improved a lot and he much rather exercise with her than in a gym. Or, how he doesn't want to stop and take a break because they are good together and he wants to explore more.

But he doesn't say any of that.

He clears his throat, the silence is dragging. She watches his Adam's apple bob up and down until she is snapped out of it and her eyes find his as he emotionlessly agrees with a nod and gets up looking for his underwear.

“It’s late, and I have an early start.” He leaves with a resigned, "See you around, Clarke."

Time stops right there.

 

***

 

She is hysterical by the time Raven comes home from her date. Luckily, she is alone, so Roan doesn't have to witness any of this. Though she's pretty certain Roan knows about her and Bellamy, they've been sneaking around quite successfully in the past months - still, the man is not stupid.

Raven makes her drink a steaming hot camomile tea, before she settles next to her on the couch, straightens her leg on the small coffee table and squeezes her hand in silent support. She is still not ready to talk, and thankfully, Raven doesn't push her to open up. One look at her face tells her she knows anyway.

 

Later that night, she is unable to go back to her room. The room that even days later is still going to hold his scent.  A room full of memories _with him_ and his cheeky smile as he ...

 _No, stop that!_  

So she falls asleep out on the couch, crying herself to sleep in Raven's arms.

 

*****************

 

  
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr](http://the-fat-mermaid.tumblr.com/post/158488107648/wait-youre-aroused).


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